Your Guide to Eternal Damnation: Tunnel Visions Simplified

Debbie - Impressionable young lesbian who only wants true love.

Miss Frost - Member of the a witches' Coven. Thinks Debbie displays a lack of respect for women.

Mike - Clean-cut young man who sets Debbie on the straight and narrow again.

Debbie's Dad - A librarian. Also a very bad father.

Dixon Fondlebeef - A wanker.

Hypnobill Shambleflesh - One of the walking dead. Requires human brains to fuel his zombie mayhem.

Frightened Minority Woman - Nervous woman of undetermined ethnicity who turns to the local white guy for guidance.

Deacon Dom Delacheez and Mephisto Hornbill - A Cheese Minister and his omnipresent sidekick.

Robert Slugstack - District Attorney and Host of "Unsolved Mysteries."

Officer Monkeyspank - A by-the-book cop who has yet to find love.

The Green Angels - Second string Christian rock band, currently dead.

Lu Siffer - Ultimate Evil and Forrest Gump Lookalike.