Blood and Wormwood: Dramatis Personae

his is the page where you come to learn more about all the curious inhabitants of this quaint little community that we like to call...The Fantastical Bestiary. All the information below is as accurate as I remember to make it, but there are occassions (fairly frequently, in fact) where the info revealed in the actual comic strip contradicts the info in the cast biographies. If this happens, just assume that the comic is correct and that I'm an idiot for screwing it up here. Also, if you want to bring my mistake to my attention and tell me to me face that I'm an idiot, please do so at

Wilhelm von Bloodclot
Radical Revolutionary Poet     Private Tutor     Head of S.T.U.P.I.D.

Wilhelm is the president of the Society to Understand the Path to the Inner Dimensions (S.T.U.P.I.D.), a revolutionary society dedicated to the violent overthrow of the dominant hierarchical...hegemonic...structural...uh...thing...dedicated to the violent overthrow of THE MAN. How do they do this? By writing lots and lots of mind-blowing, anti-establishment poetry. Also, sculpture. The Society has somewhat of a spiritual slant, as well, and its members have been known to dabble in the occult. Wilhelm is a fiery-tempered counter-culture artist sort who likes to protest stuff. It doesn't really matter what. Wilhelm's parents are Heinrich Anselmus von Bloodclot, a surgeon, and Gisela von Bloodclot, presumably a housewife. He's also a firm admirer of King Rudolph. He owns an extensive collection of ribald woodcuts depicting prominent parlimentarians urinating on one another. Oh, and some erotic taxidermy.

Bukkake "Hesper" Makimura
Washerwoman    Seamstress     Mysterious Orientalist

Her real name is Bukkake (She was named after the method in which she was conceived; her parents had sex in a big vat of soup) but everyone pronounces it Hesper. Who knows why? Hesper and her sister Tiffany originally hail from the far and mysterious orient, but were accidentally transported to England in a wicker basket by Madam P's late husband Winston when he was returning home after his service in the Queen's navy. Since then, they have earned their keep as washerwomen and general maid servants in Madam P's "The Righteous Man Resisteth Temptation" Good Christian Boarding House.

Sashimi "Tiffany" Makimura
Chambermaid   Cook    Less than Mysterious Orientalist

Her real name is Sashimi, but she calls herself Tiffany because it's got a nice, classy ring to it. Like the lamp. Like Hesper, Tiffany traveled to England passed out at the bottom of a wicker basket. Weirdly naive about some things and strangely precocious about others, Tiffany is kind of a ditz but she's got a happy, hyper personality that just wins people over. Nobody's quite sure about the deal with her ears.

Feral Child    Tabula Rasa    Displaced Royalty

Originally discovered living off pinecones in the forests around St. LeGueme, France, this feral child was presumed to have been raised by wolves. The National Academy of Science transported him to London for closer observation, but soon got bored with him and so dropped him off at a local madhouse. From there, he was adopted by Wilhelm, who undertook to civilize and educate the boy in order to prove...well, something. Nestormolester has a known vocabulary of two words: "Glarg" and "Boobs."

King Rudolph the Pirate Monkey
Gentleman   Scholar     Buccanear

King Rudolph used to be a favorite of King George III and a frequent guest in his court until, angered by the constant bigotry against and oppression of monkeys that he saw around himself everyday, he took to the seas to fight for monkey rights as a fearsome pirate. King Rudolph studied at Oxford (That's where he learned to talk) and now turns his education against the very society he once adored! Ironic, isn't it? King Rudolph is the captain of the good ship "Crimson Whore," and his crew currently includes some of the scurviest sea dogs to ever sail the seven seas. Recently, the crown placed a huge bounty on Rudolph's head, forcing him to lay low and stay in port. He and his crew are currently hiding out at Madam P's boarding house, disguised as nuns. Because, hey, whatever works.

Demonic Hell Imp, 3rd Class   Familiar     Chef of Hell

Ilemauzer is a lesser imp working behind the scenes in Hell's Kitchen to keep the armies of darkness fed. She tends to have bad luck in dealing with people. Ilemauzer used to be a witch's familiar, as seen in Witchprickers, before she took her current job.

Kitty Scratch
Devil's Granddaughter   Ultimate Evil     Icorrigable Glutton

Fat, lazy, and slobbish, Kitty Scratch is the current head honcho of the Nether Regions, but she'd rather just stuff her gullet. Widely known to be a puppet of the pitchfork industry, Kitty is incapable of independent thought, instead relying on The Silent Partner to make all the real decisions. Kitty's grandfather was Old Scratch, THE Old Scratch himself. Kitty took over when Old Scratch met his...untimely end at the conclusion of Witchprickers, but she's not really into the job.

George IV
Prince Regent of England   Prince of Wales     Fop and Drunkard

Prinny is the prince regent of England. He’s a fat, self-important lecher, who rarely leaves the safety of the Brighton Pavilion except to visit Mrs. Collett’s brothel. Lazy and decadent, he cares more for hedonistic pleasures – food, drink, opium, and many, many mistresses – than for governing. He drinks. He carouses. He sleeps till noon. He uses stout, middle-aged women as ottomans. And he throws tantrums if he doesn’t get everything he wants. At heart, Prinny is a spoiled fat kid.

Howard Bottomfeeder
Titan of Industry   Scion of Wealth and Prvilege     Bloated Plutocratic Bastard

Howard is the CEO of the Bottomfeeder Turkish Delight Works, among many other Capitalistic ventures. He lives with his mysterious sister Olympia.

Whores of Babylon: Supporting Cast

Edmund Scutters

Edmund is one of Wilhelm's fellow members of the Society to Understand the Path to the Inner Dimensions.

Hilary Briss

Hilary is another of Wilhelm's fellow members of the Society to Understand the Path to the Inner Dimensions.

Madam P

Proprietress of "The Righteous Man Resisteth Temptation" Good Christian Boarding House

Dr. Heinrich Anselmus von Bloodclot

Wilhelm's father. Apparently a suregeon. Has a very poor attitude toward his work, isn't particularly supportive of his son's attempts to live on his own.

Gisela von Bloodclot

Wilhelm's mother. Apparently a housewife. Always wears a very fashionable Venetian mask. Supports Wilhelm wholeheartedly in whatever the hell he's doing.

Mad Dog McGurk

Rudolph's First Mate. A bald, unshaven fellow with a hook for a hand.

Scarlet O'Belfry

Rudolph's Second Mate. A red-haired spitfire with a scar over her eye.

Don Bernardo

Rudolph's Boatswain. A daring swash-buckling Spaniard.

Jack Mackeral

Rudolph's Gunner. Wears a bobble hat, serves as the crew's token black.


Rudolph's Pilot. Has a nose-ring, appears to be vaguely Asian.


Rudolph's Cook. Has a parrot named Mrs. Rotgut.


Rudolph's Look-Out. Wears a fez, appears to be vaguely middle eastern.

Young Tom

Rudolph's Cabin Boy. A buck-toothed boy in a big, broad-brimmed hat.

Olympia Bottomfeeder

Howard Bottomfeeder's mysterious sister

Horace O'Canker

A tabloid reporter, works on Fleet Street.

Lord Admiral Horatio Nelson

Admiral of the King's Navy. Lives in a secret room at the top of Nelson's Column in Trafalgar Square. Currently on a mission to the new world to quell a colonists' rebellion.

George III

The King of England

Sophie Charlotte of Mecklenburg-Strelitz

The Queen of England

Mrs. Fitzherbert

Prinny's secret catholic wife. As of yet unseen in the comic.

Mrs. Collett of Tavistock Court, Covent Garden

The proprietress of Mrs. Collett's Carnivale of Strange Delights, a house of ill-repute in the heart of "that bit where the coppers won't go."


A minor demon, Kitty Scratch's personal attorney and general lackey, General Counsel of The Nether Regions Ltd.

The Virginia Pig Monkey

A vicious example of New World fauna encountered by Admiral Nelson during his visit to the colonies.

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