ChildCare Action Reaction: Anal Retentive Christian Analysis of American Culture and Condemnation thereof(CAR)



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Entertainment Media Analysis Report

The Fantastical Bestiary (1999), R
CAR Score: 29
CAR Influence Density: 10.65

Deacon Jack Cheese
CAR President
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ALERT: To fully understand this report you should first visit the topics suggested by the CAP Table of Contents.


*The Fantastical Bestiary* (R) -- WARNING! This analysis is blunt. *The Fantastical Bestiary* is another comic straight from the smoking pits of Hell.

*The Fantastical Bestiary* is an *incredibly dangerous* comic strip for those who do not understand or are developing an understanding of the teachings of Deacon Cheese and the Church of Churchoology ....... REALLY, REALLY, UNBELIEVABLY, INCREDIBLY dangerous. Really.

The Fantastical Bestiary claims to be a "family comic." Well, what kind of family, I wonder? Could it be a Satan-worshipping family that eats unbaptised babies for dinner and clubs seals for dessert? And then maybe they'll go trick - or -treating! That sinfulness just never ends! Why, it certainly doesn't promote any of the wholesome activities promoted by CAR: Anal Retentive Christian Comic Reviews, Prayer requests, Self respect, Coping skills, Personal Integrity, Children, Youth, Family values, Family unity, Personal values, Parenting skills, Morality, Values, Cultural investigations, Analysis, Reporting, Media investigations, Snake Handling, Karma Reallignment, Heathen Stoning, Virgin Sacrifice, or even Harvest Festivals. There are also references to Dungeons and Dragons, a favorite game of weirdo occult nutjobs (Remember, I don't want to be Elfstar anymore!), and allusions to medieval Castillian ballads ("The Prisoner of Love") and medical texts ("Hereos").

Cthulhu was glorified. Jesus was equated with a rock 'n roll lifestyle. There are all sorts of foule beastes devised by the mind of man, not the mind of God. You speak of God? Yes, you find it unthinkable that we too might think of God. STUPID EARTH MEN! STUPID! STUPID! And throughout the comic was scripted to promote licentious belittlement of wholesome life and entertainment (good clean, unoffensive bland comics like "The Family Circus"): rationale to lessen even further the threshold of acceptance.

These are but a very few of the examples of ignominy in this web comic developed in the fiery pits of Hades. And the kids probably love it, or they would if any kids actually visited this site. May God have mercy on us.

That is all I will say about the content this extraordinarily vulgar, vile, and repugnant comic. Other examples are just too icky to even try to describe without being just as icky. Please note that the final score of 29 is not the lowest of scores earned by the comics we have analyzed, but this comic has earned the most severe CAR Influence Density (ID) of almost 200 movies: a CAR ID of 10.65! *Fat Jesus* only earned a CAR Influence Density of 7.46! Most bland comics earn CAR IDs between 1.00 and 3.00. A child cannot escape being influenced by this useless .......

For the best representation of the CAR Entertainment Media Analysis Model applied to this comic, visit the Findings/Scoring section below.


NOTE: Multiple occurrences of each item described below are likely. So deal with it.

Wanton Violence/Crime (W):
  • Excessively loud rock music
  • Sibling rivalry between kitsunes
  • The Hat of Pure Reason (Blasphemous, since the only "pure" reason is God's!)
  • Kitsune, false creation of false Eastern beliefs
  • Triton, a horrific fish creature, ignoring the fact that God created only MAN with REASON!!!!
  • "I was born nominally Taoist."
  • Nihilism
  • Smoking
  • A Featureless Void, despite the fact that God used all the void to create OUR world!!
  • Uppity Women
  • A gay robot
  • a vampire, satanic beast
  • "Shrikes" to watch out for - spoof of pretentious Lesbian comic
  • The "Tower of Love" - Obvious Phallic implications!
  • Anime references- Anime often has Godless themes!
  • feral man

    Impudence/Hate (I)(1):
  • 131 uses of the word "glarg"
  • 119 uses of the three/four letter word vocabulary by children, including "car," "hat," and "the"
  • "boobs"
  • The feral boy has immoral sexual relationships with inanimate objects
  • "Blue Flower," an obvious satanic symbol favored by hippies and freeks
  • pirate monkeys
  • "Pantelones del Fuego," a Spanish-phrase. Spanish is the language spoken by Mexicans, who come to our country to take jobs away from Christians
  • "Despair"
  • minotaur, godless creation of heathen Greeks
  • Jokes about the Church of Churchology--the temerity!
  • a general theme of humor
  • Hateful talk from kitsune mother to kitsune daughter
  • malaria, yellow fever, references might scare kids

    Sex/Robosexuality (S):
  • Gay robot and feral man in compromising position
  • Scantily clad female amazon warriors, who flout God's directive that man should control woman
  • "My head hurts" at least twice
  • False prophet ("Crazy" Old Man)
  • disrespect for elders (Grandson to "Crazy" Old Man)
  • Nude female kitsune with conveniently placed blocking objects
  • Nudity of male triton (side view)
  • Kitsune turns into fox once a month--vulgar reference to menstruation
  • Valkyre kills troll with ax
  • banshee (satanic celtic "ghost") brings troll to "judgement"--whose judgement? Obviously no Christian judgement!
  • Troll returns alive in next comic--Rising from the dead
  • References to Germany and the German language, the language spoken in Wagnerian opera, which often involve pre-Christain themes and motifs!
  • Poor inking
  • "Gigantomastia" --Latin for giant breasts??
  • Off-stage sex with feral man
  • Slutty elf
  • long sequence of soul searching
  • a vision quest
  • The valkyrie sisters have wildly differing temperments- suggesting that they "evolved" differently, I'll bet! EVIL!! EVIL!!!
  • Amazons, more uppity women, also scantily clad

    Drugs/Alcohol (D):
  • salamagundi

    Offense to God (O)(2):
  • God's wife
  • German Romanticism
  • Jesus as a rock star
  • fiery pants from Hell
  • Immanuel Kant
  • False creatures of Myth and Legend that mock god with their very depiction
  • Depiction of an alternate world which God would not have created
  • false gods
  • Lovecraftian monstrosities
  • References to "Godless Capitalism," when Capitalism is actually the "God-full" alternative to sinful Communism
  • A Troll, child of bastard Norse false gods
  • Valkyries, also associated with false Norse gods and sun demons

    Murder/Suicide (M)(3):
  • elf with copious cleavage
  • Younger kitsune wears shorts-exposing her sinfully tender maiden flesh to tempt males

    (1) As noted in CAR Special Report-001, "Investigation Area and Scoring Trend," of the six CAR Investigation Areas, Impudence/Hate was the strongest presence in all four comic classifications. It has a strong revelation about the entertainment media.

    (2) The use of the three/four letter word vocabulary without God's name in vain is incorporated into the Impudence/Hate Investigation Area. The use of God's name with or without the four letter expletive is incorporated into the Offense to God Investigation Area. There is no duplication. As required by Deacon Cheese, this is bad.

    (3) Only portrayal of successful murder or suicide are incorporated into Murder/Suicide. Portrayal of attempts to commit murder or suicide and deaths by police action or war are incorporated into Wanton Violence/Crime.

    Additional reviews of this comic may be located at "Comic Review Query Engine at Comirama."

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    ChildCare Action Reaction: Christian Analysis of American Culture (CAR)

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